What is a
dumb supper? It is a meal shared with a
Spirit, offering them hospitality as an honored guest, warm food and a seat at
your table. 'Dumb' means “mute, unable
to speak aloud”, and some prefer to call it a 'Silent Supper'. This simple rite has been used across the
centuries in Europe on All Hallow’s Eve, also known as All Souls Eve, Samhain
and Halloween. Our ancestors used it to
communicate with their deceased loved ones, but we can also honor our Gods in
this same way. What has survived of
Northern European Pagan rites is almost entirely based on the virtue of
hospitality: there’s very little ritual, you just share your food and drink
with the Gods.
In some Pagan traditions, it has become popular to hold a Dumb
Supper in honor of the dead. The origins of this tradition have been fairly
well debated - some claim it goes back to ancient cultures, others believe it's
a relatively new idea. Regardless, it's
one that's observed by many people around the world.
When holding a Dumb Supper, there are a few simple
guidelines to follow. First of all, make
your dining area sacred, either by casting a circle, hammer rite, smudging or some other
method. Turn off phones and televisions,
eliminating outside distractions.
Secondly, remember that this is a solemn and silent
occasion, not a carnival. It's a time of
silence, remembrance and letting go. You
may wish to leave younger children out of this ceremony. Ask each adult guest to bring a note to the
dinner. The note's contents will be kept
private and should contain what they wish to say to their deceased friends or ancestors.
Set a place at the table for each guest and reserve the head
of the table for the place of the Spirits. Although it's nice to have a place setting for
each individual you wish to honor, sometimes it's just not feasible. Instead, use a tealight candle at the Spirit
setting to represent each of the deceased. Shroud the Spirit chair in black or white
cloth. In many traditions, it's
perfectly acceptable to use a combination of black and white, although black
should be the predominant color.
Your menu choices are up to you, but because it's usually Samhain,
you may wish to make the traditional Soul Cakes, as well as serving dishes with
apples, late fall vegetables and wild game if available. Why hold a Dumb Supper on Samhain? Well, it's traditionally known as the night
when the veil between our world and the Spirit world is fragile. It's the night when we know the dead will hear
us speak and maybe even speak back. It's
a time of death and resurrection, of new beginnings and fond farewells. Serve an item that the Spirit may have
enjoyed in life.
Shut
off all electricity. The only lighting
should be candles. No one may speak from
the time they enter the dining room. As
each guest enters the room, they should take a moment to stop at the Spirit
chair and offer a silent prayer to the dead. Once everyone is seated, join hands and take a
moment to silently bless the meal. The
host or hostess, who should be seated directly across from the Spirit chair,
serves the meal to guests in order of age, from the oldest to youngest. No one should eat until all guests - including
Spirit - are served.
When everyone has finished eating, each guest should get out
the note to the dead that they brought. Go
to the head of the table where Spirit sits and find the candle for your
deceased loved one. Focus on the note
and then burn it in the candle's flame (you may wish to have a plate or small
cauldron on hand to catch burning bits of paper) and then return to their seat.
When everyone has had their turn, join
hands once again and offer a silent prayer to the dead.
Everyone leaves the room in silence. Stop at the Spirit chair on your way out the
door and say goodbye one more time.
Break the circle. Snuff
out the candles, put up food, clear the table etc. The leftovers from the Spirit's plate can go
into the compost or as an offering outside.
The local squirrels quickly finished the leftovers last year, just make
sure it is safe for other animals. Electricity
may be turned back on as well. Everyone
is invited back into the room where talking may continue. Share any experiences you may have felt,
thought or messages maybe given by deceased loved ones at this time. Have fun and bring life back into the room. Brag about your good deeds. Make oaths for next year. Tarot readings, Quigi boards, Runes, music,
chants, singing, dancing etc. This is a
time of celebration.
The rite of the Dumb Supper can be a very profound and
healing occasion. In this time of loss
and uncertainty, it will provide a way to rebalance, communicate and continue.
To those who have gone before,
To those whose names live in our hearts and
dance upon our lips,
To those whose names have been lost in the
sea of time,
To those whose bones lie above and below
the earth,
To those whose ashes have travelled on the
winds,
We, the living, bid you welcome and
entrance.
We, the living, wish you safe travels..
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