Few
of us were welcomed into the maiden phase of life, celebrated the first flow of
blood in our monthly cycles, initiated into women’s mysteries. We likely viewed menstruation as a curse or an
obstacle. If we became mothers, we may
have received special attention until we gave birth, but then the focus shifted
to our children. If we mothered
projects, careers, creative endeavors, we might have been celebrated for what
we produced, but seldom for ourselves. Now,
for the first time in our lives, we have an opportunity to be celebrated for
who we are - crones.
Aging
isn't always easy, especially when the media constantly shouts in our ears that
youth equals beauty. 'Old' is something
we should avoid at all costs - marketers, the media, and society seem to tell
us - and if we don't ... well, maybe it's time to just step aside. To be called a crone was an insult. The very word implied a wrinkled, hunchbacked
old woman, unwanted and unloved. Women
who had reached an advanced age were dismissed as useless hags, and there was
nothing to celebrate about it at all. Fortunately,
times are changing, and more and more women are welcoming this aspect of their
life. We spend many years in the guise
of the Maiden followed by a couple of decades as Mother for many of us. But what is next?
In
early cultures, the female elder was considered a wise woman. She was the healer, the teacher, the imparter
of knowledge. She mediated disputes, she
had influence over tribal leaders, and she cared for the dying as they took
their final breaths. For many women in
Wicca and other Pagan religions, reaching the status of Crone is a major
milestone. These women are reclaiming
the name of Crone in a positive way, and see it as a time to joyfully welcome
one's position as an elder within the community.
Women
everywhere are reclaiming the name of crone
in a positive way and see it as a time to embrace aging with joy and dignity. And while it's more about the act of becoming
a wise woman and accepting your rightful place in the world, it's also very
much about sharing your knowledge and wisdom with other women. More women in their fifties, sixties, and
even seventies are forgoing all the trappings of 'false youth' that have been a
part of society for the last few decades. It's not uncommon to see mature women with
glorious manes of silver hair, when ten years ago they might have spent a small
fortune to hide the gray strands. Older
women are dating younger men - after all, we live longer than they do - and
they have busy, active social schedules.
Talking about men, they get old too. The Saging
Ritual celebrates the male elders of our community who wish to mark their
passage to this important life stage. We
honour the time when a man reaches the point in his maturity and experience
where he is taking a less active physical part, but is still contributing as a
valued teacher, mentor and guide to younger members of the path.
It has traditionally been
assumed that age is kinder to men than to women. But research has revealed a surprising
reversal: many men 40 and over are having a harder time today making a
satisfying passage into the second half of their lives than are most women. Today, particularly for men under 50, the
timing marks - finishing school, first grown-up job, marriage, parenthood,
empty nest, retirement, golden years - has turned out to be unpredictable. What a man is supposed to do and when, is not as
clear. It is both exciting and
disorienting, like sailing for a new world but wondering if you will drop off
the edge of the old one first.
Women
today are far more willing to embrace their sexuality and womanhood during the
years which not too long ago were considered the time of, for lack of a better
phrase, drying up. We're finally able to
take back the notion that with age comes wisdom and we're welcoming the power
of our own energy. We're living longer,
we're self-sufficient, and we're willing to share our knowledge and experience
with others. We're smart and confident -
and that's sexy.
Any
woman or man can have a Croning or Saging ceremony, although traditionally most
choose to wait until they are at least fifty years old. This is partly because of the physical changes
in the body, but also because five decades of learning is nothing to sneeze at!
In some traditions of Wicca, it is
recommended that you wait until after menopause to become a Crone. However, some women in their thirties no
longer have periods and some women continue menstruating into their sixties, so
the timing of your ceremony will depend on the guidelines of your particular Path.
A Croning
or Saging ceremony may be performed by a High Priestess or Priest, but can also
be performed by other women and men who have already attained the position of
Crone and Sage. The ceremony itself is
typically performed as part of a circle, a coven's Esbat or a Sabbat gathering.
It should take place in the sunlight or
on a warm spring evening, there should be flowers on the altar and a feast of
fresh fruit. But there is no set rule
for how a ceremony is conducted.
- A ritual bath or cleansing beforehand such as smudging
- Singing and chanting - drumming, music or poetry celebrating elders
- A guided meditation honoring the archetype of Wise Woman and Men
- The Crone or Sage may choose a new name
- Symbols of initiation - a staff, a special cloak, a garland or crown
- An altar with photos of ancestors and friends who have empowered the Crone or Sage
- A celebratory meal - fresh fruit, herbs or other favorite items of the elder
- A symbol of the passage - entering through a curtain or tunnel, crossing a ceremonial threshold
- An exchange of gifts or blessings
Embrace
your age, engage with life, take control of your future, and live. Care for your body, exercise your mind, be a
part of the world, stay connected with people who are supportive, and you'll
discover a secret that many women over 50 who are doing these things already
know: If you feel good, you look good. And if you feel and look good, age will be the
furthest thing from your mind.
Crossing
the threshold into Elderhood can be a major event in a life. It's a celebration of all that you've learned
and all that you will come to know in the future. For many, it's a time to make new commitments
and vows. If you've ever had an interest
in taking a leadership position in some aspect of your life, now is a great
time to do so. This third cycle of your
life is the one in which you become an Elder and you've joined a special group.
You have a lifetime of achievements
behind you and decades more to look forward to. The word Crone, Sage, Old Person, Elder or
Senior should now be a word of power for you, so celebrate it. You've earned it.
As our brother/sister (new Craft name), on this night
enters the realm of the Crone/Holly King (or Oak King),
let us all remember that our lives
are measured by the turning of the Wheel
and the spinning of the Silver Cord.
Elder (new Craft name), we wish you long life
and happily ever after!
enters the realm of the Crone/Holly King (or Oak King),
let us all remember that our lives
are measured by the turning of the Wheel
and the spinning of the Silver Cord.
Elder (new Craft name), we wish you long life
and happily ever after!
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